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Mum can hear blood pumping through her veins and eyeballs moving inside her head

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Netherlands Single Top [19]. Norway VG-lista [21]. Men who abuse women tend to go through a subtle but ultimately dramatic transformation that leaves their partner desperately searching for the person he was at the start of their relationship and blaming herself for losing him along the way. Click to open full-size version. He means cleverness at its most cruel. Abusers, he says, are conmen and brainwashers who employ tactics no different from paedophiles. Those are strong words but Hennessy believes in straight-talking.

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She carries him around the whole time. She comes into the office here and you are talking to her but she is filtering what you say through his voice. Working to understand how this happens led Hennessy to publish a groundbreaking book late last year. The abuser, he believes, feels entitled to have his needs put first and foremost and must subjugate his partner to ensure she sees to those needs. They may carry it with them to different degrees or they may not display it at all. What limits it for most men is old-fashioned conscience.

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Some people will not take advantage of other people and some people will. Hennessy says abusers will go out of their way to find a woman they can take advantage of, and believes they operate the same way as paedophiles, grooming their victim. What they are really looking for is somebody who will put his needs before hers.

Abusers look for kindness and they abuse that kindness. They are very capable of presenting themselves in whatever way is attractive to the woman. If she tries to leave, he will pull her back. He will convince her that if she changes or improves, everything will be okay.

What's going on inside her head?

She is constantly being re-groomed. The process is exactly the same as with a paedophile. What they want to do is control the intimacy of the relationship.